Seeing Ourselves Through Boreh Olam's Eyes

Understanding the Torah and the Human Experience

Parashat Chukat can be a difficult parasha to read.

It begins with the Parah Adumah, a mitzvah that we are told to observe even though we may not fully understand it. As the parasha continues, we encounter complaint after complaint in the wilderness. The people struggle with fear, frustration, and trust. By the end of the parasha, it can feel discouraging.

As a father, I often think about moments when I ask one of my children to do something. Sometimes he understands why. Sometimes he does not. Yet there is something special when he comes quickly because he trusts me and wants to make me happy without questions.

Perhaps this helps us understand the Parah Adumah.

We often focus on the mystery of the mitzvah, but I wonder if part of what Boreh Olam is asking for is trust. Can we follow even when we do not fully understand? Can we continue moving forward when we cannot yet see where the path is leading?

Throughout the Midbar, Bnei Yisrael struggle with this question.

Again and again, they encounter difficulty and assume the worst. When they are thirsty, hungry, or afraid, they often interpret the situation as proof that Boreh Olam has brought them into the wilderness to suffer.

What is interesting is that this parent-child relationship is not just an analogy. The Torah itself uses this language when reflecting on the wilderness experience.

Later, Moshe tells the people:

וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו ה' אלקיך מיסרך

Know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son, so Boreh Olam disciplines you.

Earlier, he describes Boreh Olam carrying the Jewish people through the wilderness:

כאשר ישא איש את בנו

As a man carries his son.

What strikes me is that the generation often experienced the wilderness as frightening and uncertain. Looking back, Moshe describes the same experience very differently. He describes a father guiding and carrying his child.

Reading these stories, it is easy to focus on the failures of the generation. By the end of Chukat, a reader can almost find himself wondering whether Bnei Yisrael will ever get it right.

Then comes Balak.

Balak sees the Jewish people as a threat. Bilam is hired to curse them. They search for weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Yet every attempt to curse the nation becomes a blessing.

What struck me when learning these parshiyot together is that while Bnei Yisrael are focused on the challenges in front of them, Boreh Olam is protecting them from dangers they do not even know exist.

In Chukat, we spend so much time looking at the struggles of Bnei Yisrael that it is easy to lose sight of something else. Then Balak comes along and reminds us that Boreh Olam has not lost sight of His people.

I think there is a practical lesson here.

There are seasons in life when a person feels like he is living in his own wilderness. One challenge ends and another begins. Sometimes life feels impossible. Sometimes a person becomes so focused on what is going wrong that it becomes difficult to see anything else.

As a therapist, one of the questions I occasionally ask clients is whether they have ever experienced a moment when they felt the hand of Boreh Olam in their lives. A moment when they felt protected, guided, or helped in a way they still remember.

Most people can think of something.

A situation that somehow worked out. A moment where things could have gone very differently. A time when they felt they were being carried through something they could not have managed alone.

Reflecting on those experiences does not remove pain, nor does it answer every question. But it can help a person remember that what he sees is not always the full story.

Perhaps that is one of the messages of Chukat and Balak. There are moments when all we can see are the challenges in front of us. Yet even during those moments, Boreh Olam may be guiding, protecting, and carrying us in ways we do not fully recognize.

Like Bnei Yisrael, we often see only the wilderness. Sometimes it is only years later that we realize how much of the journey was guided all along.

Torah Sources

• Bamidbar 19:2 – Parah Adumah
• Bamidbar 20:2–5 – The complaints over water
• Bamidbar 21:4–5 – The complaints in the wilderness
• Bamidbar 22–24 – Balak and Bilam
• Bamidbar 23:21 – לא הביט און ביעקב
• Devarim 1:31 – As a man carries his son
• Devarim 8:2 – Remember the entire journey
• Devarim 8:5 – As a man disciplines his son
• Rashi to Bamidbar 19:2
• Rashi to Bamidbar 23:21
• Midrash Tanchuma, Chukat 7–8

Psychology Sources

• Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment.
• Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders.
• Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, Appraisal, and Coping.
• Frankl, V. E. (1946). Man's Search for Meaning.
• Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting Blessings Versus Burdens.
• Pargament, K. I. (2007). Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy.